By Tanya de Grunwald, who’s been on the receiving end of each and every one of these 17 wedding-day howlers…
Butall brides are as thoughtful towards theirsolo guests. I should know. I’ve experiencedenough single-at-a-wedding-cringe moments to make the hardiest womanweep. Afer one, I slept in a bath in a rentalcottage because single-occupancy ratesthe only nearby hotel were so steep.
Atanother, I was asked to leave the danceduring a ceilidh because I didn’t have amale partner (yes, really). And let’s notforget the wedding where I discoveredsingles’ table was in the middle of the roomso that the other guests could watch andplace bets…
THE FACT THAT YOU’RE READING THISSHOWS YOU CARE THAT EVERYONEHAS FUN AT YOUR WEDDING Photo Gallery
So, for all the singles out there– who really would rather enjoy your daythan pretend to – here’s what not to do1 Force us to catch the bouquet Sometimes, we’re so there. Other dayswe’re not feeling it. Let us decide, please
2 Forget to talk us through the talentAmong 150 guests, the singles won’tautomatically fnd each other. If there’s a guy you think that we’d like, tip us of.
3 Fail to suggest a roommate Hotels are pricey for the unattached, so we won’t be insulted if you propose a mate who’s up for sharing. (Preferably one who doesn’t snore – or bring a random waiter back at 3am.)
4 Go too Mariah with your gif list Te cut-crystal decanter is way over a single girl’s budget. Add lots of small-but-lovely items – think vases, salad bowls and clocks. We don’t want to buy tea towels or egg cups. 5 Enforce a dress code Yes, this is your day.
But we singles need to look good to avoid sad eyes and pity looks. If our dress is a smidge too bright, too revealing or a little on the low-cut side, forgive us?
6 Neglect to fnd us a good seat during the ceremony Because nothing crushes a single girl’s ego quite like being stationed behind a pillar – enlist your ushers to help.
7 Choose readings only couples will enjoy Google ‘Two are better than one’. Ten do not include it in your service. It’s just mean.
8 Put us on the kids’ table – ever Don’t, or you may never hear from us again.
9 Go tight on the booze Champagne, wine, spirits, glamorous cocktails – we need it all. No single person has ever remembered the food at a wedding.
10 Exclude us from your photographs Guaranteed, there will already have been at least fve moments when we’ve felt a bit spare, so it’s nice to feel part of things.
11 Choose any date-unfriendly food Veto any ingredients that can get caught in our teeth (nobody tells us when this happens). Remember: parsley, spinach and poppy seeds are nobody’s friend.
12 Buy smug or ‘couple-only’ favours Single people don’t have gardens so no plant seeds. We’d rather have nothing.
13 End the dancing with a smoochy ballad Nothing kills a single girl’s wedding mojo like the frst few bars of Angels – or I Will Always Love You.
14 Think you don’t need to edit the speeches Please don’t refer to your single years as desperate, humiliating and stressful. Remember, we’re still there.
15 Cut the plus ones If your budget allows it, a plus one would be amazing. We’ll make sure that they don’t smell, swear or overdo it on the fzz. Promise!
16 Leave of any wild cards We know that your list includes randoms marked ‘maybe’. If they’re single, why not turn them into a ‘yes’? Perhaps we’ll like them a little more…
17 If we’re a ’maid, give us a bulbous mass of curls as a ’do We don’t mind secretly hating the dress you’ve picked, but a good hairstyle is non-negotiable.
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