Halasana Yoga Pose

Reason No. 3: Your therapist can’t assist with what’s really wrong in your life. More often than not, therapists’training and professional practices cause them to commit sins of omission rather than commission. They mean well, but they are unable or unwilling to deal with the issues of greatest concern to you. For instance, a therapist may be helping a client deal with a difficult workplace situation without having much experience with organizational issues and solutions, refusing to make a referral to a colleague with this expertise. Another therapist may believe that spirituality is unimportant and focuses only on the psychological dimension of a patient’’ problems downplaying the patient’s complaints that she feels empty inside and disconnected to anything larger than herself. It also may be that the therapist has misinterpreted the source of an individual’s depression, assuming it is psychological when in fact it is rooted in a negative career event (getting fired), his or her mate’s behavior, a specific relationship trauma (breaking up), addiction (alcohol), the death of a loved one (sibling), parenting problems (dealing with a teenager), or all of the above.

Often, a single bad habit or multiple bad habits sabotage a client from reaching his or her goals. This is where traditional therapists fall short. Clients need a plan to actively manage these bad habits. They need to understand what the bad habit is and then be given strategies and tools to limit the unhelpful behavior (anger, addiction, lack of punctuality, procrastination, unsafe sex, eating issues, task and time management issues, and so on).

Collin was a truck driver who was married for thirty years. Recently he developed mild depression and started seeing a therapist, who assumed that Collin’s depression was secondary to “ hopeless cognitions and ruminations.” In fact, Collin was depressed because he was increasingly having sex with women he met on the road and usually did not practice safe sex. He was worried about how out of control he felt not to mention that he was repeatedly breaking his marital vows and endangering both his wife’s health and his own. However, the therapist never asked him about his behaviors and interests while he was on the road. The therapist taught cognitive yoga poses at a nearby university and had a tendency to explain all symptoms as having a cognitive causation. Therefore, the real etiology of the hopeless feelings and shame went undiscovered by the therapist because he never bothered to get to know his client better.

Halasana Yoga Pose Photo Gallery

Reason No. 4: Your therapist can’t coach you to greatness.

When it comes to most life challenges, people need a coach a lot more than they need a therapist. They want someone to help them articulate their vision for their lives; they need someone to help them create a plan to achieve that vision; they require an individual to inspire and motivate them as they move forward; and they want a responsible person to monitor their progress and suggest course corrections when they stray from the path they’ve set.

Mae has been in yoga poses with the same therapist for ten years. In the early years, the yoga poses was very effective in helping Mae better understand herself as well as her family of origin. It also helped her feel better and understood. As the years went by, Mae started to yearn for a more outcomes’ oriented process. She was interested in finding a mate and building a career she would enjoy and find meaningful. However, whenever she asked the therapist to help her with these goals, the therapist politely refused by saying she didn’t work that way, that she saw her role as simply to help Mae clarify feelings and thoughts, not work toward Mae’s goals. It took another year, but Mae eventually found a coach and left yoga poses behind. Today, Mae is happily married and runs a dynamic Web site commerce business from home.

Like Mae, many people go for years without seeing this refusal to discuss goals as a reason to fire their therapists. To evaluate if your therapist is helping you achieve greatness, answer the following questions:

Has he ever asked me about my vision for my future? Has he encouraged me to talk about how I see my life five or ten or fifteen years from now?

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