How long does your partner last before climaxing?

I’ve heard that there are exercises to help a man postpone his climax during intercourse. Is this true?

To prolong intercourse, a man must learn how to put off the point when ejaculation a reflex reaction becomes inevitable. The exercises in Zilbergeld’s The exercises are easy, although they take a bit of commitment. There are many books that teach ejaculatory control; one that’s readily available and gives straightforward advice is The \ew Male Sexuality. by Betnie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.. which claims that ejaculatory control can be learned in eight to 20 weeks.

How long does your partner last before climaxing?

Would you prefer if intercourse lasted longer or shorter? Why?

Have you and your partner used any techniques to alter the length of intercourse? What were they?

I’m 27 and have one child. My husband and I are certain that ice don’t leant to have any more. Is it unhealthy or unwise for a woman in her twenties to have her tubes tied?

Emale sterilization (tubal ligation) is the leading method of birth control in the United Stales. The majority of women who undergo it are older than you, but nearly one in six women ages 25 to 29 has been sterilized.

Even though some tubal ligations have been successfully reversed, sterilization is meant to be permanent and usually is. Women contemplating the procedure must ask themselves whether there are any circumstances under which they would want another child. For instance, if you and your husband divorce, you might want to book involve the “stop-start” technique, in which the man slows down his thrusting or stops his mov ement altogether, thus learning to stav in what Zilbergeld terms his “control zone.” The man uses the technique first while masturbating, then when hav ing sex with a partner. Only by experimenting can a man learn how long to stop stimulation so that the tension can subside without his losing the erection.

By gaining ejaculatory control, a man can give his partner more time to reach a climax and may also have more intense orgasms himself. The only downside is that he might want to continue intercourse for too long, which could get tiresome, and even painful, for his partner.

Have a child with a f uture partner. Because of your age and the fact that vou have only one child, vour doctor may trv to discourage sterilization until you are older. She may also encourage you to consider the Pill rather than tubal ligation because oral-contraceptive use is associated with lower rates of ovarian and endometrial cancers. You’ll also be advised that any surgical or invasive procedure carries a small risk of infection or other complications. And because male sterilization is a simpler and less expensive operation, you should discuss its relative advantages with your husband and your doctor.

All that said, tubal ligation is a safe, relatively simple and effective surgical procedure that usually causes no health problems and does not interfere with hormonal production, ovulation or menstruation.

Her husband wantsler to talk dirty

Can man learn to last longer before climaxing?

My husband likes me to use sexually explicit terms when we’re making love. I don’t think there’s anything wrong icitli that, but I feel awkward and can’t quite bring myself to do it. Do you have any suggestions?

ost women were taught that “nice girls don’t talk dirty” in fact, it may be the very idea that vou’d be breaking a taboo that turns your husband on. Despite this cultural taboo, however, using sexually explicit language has erotic power for many women and men. Slang words that are distasteful outside the bedroom can be taken as a demonstration of passion and abandon when spoken in priv ate.

If you want to trv explicit sex talk, create a sexual situation that is out of the ordinary: Spend a weekend with your husband at a hotel in a romantic setting, act out a fantasy or try a sex act or position that you’ve never tried before. If vou break your routine, vou mav give yourself permission to act differently than you normally would. And when you are especially aroused, vour inhibitions will be lowered. If you are not sure what to sav. ask vour husband what he would like to hear, then see how say ing or maybe just whispering those words feels to you. Don’t feel pressured to go beyond your comfort level; stop if you feel embarrassed or demeaned. Your husband should appreciate that vou made the effort, and if you don’t want to try it again, he should respect vour decision.

Janet Lever, Ph.D., is on the sociology faculty at California State University in Los Angeles. She researches and writes on sex and health-policy issues. Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and the author of Peer Marriages: How Love Between Equals Reallv Works (Free Press).

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