Love Tester

HOLIDAY ROMANCE?

He seemed like your ideal man when the sun was shining and the sangria was flowing, but now you’re home, was it just a fling or the real thing, asks Victoria Routledge.

1 WHATS THE BEST THING ABOUT SUMMER?

a) Having a tan – it slims your legs, transforms your wardrobe and makes you shimmy around like J-Lo

b) The warm evenings sitting outside with your friends, drinking cocktails

c) The magical mood-enhancing power of sunshine – life just feels nicer

d) The holidays – time off work to chill out

2 WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE THINGS TO GO INTO YOUR SUITCASE?

a) Suncream, a bikini, a trashy novel

b) Make-up bag, shoes you can dance in for eight hours solid, painkillers

c) A flirty 50s sundress for day, sexy Grecian minidress for night, the silver Kylie hotpants you wouldn’t dare wear at home

d) A phrase book, travel guide and Discman

3 HOW DID YOU MEET MR HOLIDAY ROMANCE?

a) When you saw him manning the decks, your holiday plans were complete

b) He’s a friend of a friend

c) You woke up in his hotel room after a heavy night clubbing and never really left

d) He (and his mates) asked you (and your mates) out for a drink and it went from there

4 WHEN YOU FIRST MET YOU THOUGHT HE WAS…

a) Unbelievably gorgeous

b) Good fun to be with

c) Way out of your league

d) Someone you’d known for years, even though you’d just met

5 HIS FIRST WORDS TO YOU WERE…

a) “Nice bikinil Got any suncream?

b) Good fun to be with

c) “Is anyone using this sunlounger?”

d) “Are you wearing that hat for a bet?

6 WHAT’S‘YOUR SONG?

a) Elevation – turns out you both love U2

b) Anything from Hits Ibiza Summer 2003, to remind you of those hot nights clubbing

c) Kids by Robbie and Kylie – you sang it together for a drunken dare in a karaoke bar

d) Summer Lovin’ from Grease – it makes you laugh at the cheesy, but cute, way you met

7 WHEN YOU’RE NOT ALL OVER EACH OTHER,WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT?

a) Anything and everything – music you like, books you’ve read, top conspiracy theories

b) What you’ve done that day, how your tans are developing

c) Where you’re going later – and what you’re going to do to each other when you get there

d) His mates, your mates, his job, your job…

8 HE COMES OUT WITH AN OUTRAGEOUS COMMENT ABOUTTHE GIRL ON THE NEXT SUNLOUNGER DO YOU…

a) Ignore it – you don’t want to spoil the sexy mood with a row

b) Wolf whistle loudly at the cute barman

c) Give him your most right-on lecture

d) Pull him up on it with a laugh of disbelief

9 DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES BACK IN THE REAL WORLD?

a) Yes, he’s a brain surgeon/Premiership

b) Actually, he works in the same office as the daughter of your mum’s best friend

c) Sort of. You didn’t want to seem too nosey

d) No, you’re not that interested, but he thinks you’re a fashion buyer for Harvey Nichols

10 AN OLD FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED IN THE AUTUMN, AND YOUR INVITE SAYS’PLUS ONE’. AREYOU PLANNINGTO…

a) Take him along and upstage the happy couple with your loved-up smooching

b) Go on your own – your friends aren’t ready to meet him, and more to the point, he’s certainly not ready to meet them

c) Autumn is a very long time away…

d) Suggest it casually, and go by his reaction

11 WHEN YOU PARTED AT THE AIRPORT HOW MANY OFYOUR CONTACT DETAILS DIDYOU GIVE HIM?

a) Your mobile number (in eyeliner on a flier)

b) Your mobile and your home number (written on his boarding pass)

c) Your mobile number, home number and e-mail address (written very clearly on a page torn from your diary and tucked into his wallet)

d) He’s wistfully clutching the phone number of a penfriend you once had in Carlisle

12 BACK HOME, HE CALLS IZYOU, SAYING HE’D LOVE TO COME ROUND. DO YOU…

a) Panic – the flat’s a mess and you told him you lived in a minimalist warehouse conversion

b) Panic – your flatmates will think he’s a mess

c) Make a not-very-convincing excuse about work commitments in Paris that weekend -and, indeed, for the rest of the year

d) Start arranging the tea lights and buying expensive new bed linen

13 HOME AND ALTHOUGH HE’S STILL CUTE, HE’S WEARING REALLY DODGY TROUSERS. DO YOU…

a) Spin on your heel and leave there and then

b) Spill red wine over them, and offer to go shopping for some new ones for him

c) Spend the evening wondering what else could be lurking in his wardrobe

d) Try not to think about them – you’re too busy worrying he’s as unimpressed with your thighs, now they’re not flatteringly bronzed

14 HOW DOES HE COM PARE WITH YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND?

a) He’s the exact opposite – a real laugh, and a bit of a flirt

b) Urn, make that current boyfriend, actually…

c) He’s pretty much the same kind of guy you always go for

d) He’s not your usual type, but it feels right

15 WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ID HOUDAY MEMORY OF HIM?

a) Walking hand in hand on the beach, feeling like you’d met your soulmate

b) Dancing all night until the sun came up, and then having a huge breakfast together

c) Sitting in his room, talking incessantly

d) Discovering your ‘secret’ midnight poolside romp was being awarded marks out of ten by the whole hotel complex

16 YOUR HOLIDAY PHOTOS YOU are BACK DO YOU…

a) Send him the extra set you ordered

b) Send him the extra set, having carefully removed all unflattering pics of you

c) Choose the best photo of the pair of you, and send it off with your phone number

d) Use them to make a Top Ten Beach Hunk collage on your fridge

HOW DIDYOU SCORE?

1 a) 0

b) 2

c) 1

d) 3

2 a) 2

b) 1

c) 0

d) 3

3 a) 0

b) 3

c) 2

d) 1

4 a) 0

b) 2

c) 1

d) 3

5 a) 1

b) 0

c) 2

d)3

6 a) 3

b) 0

c) 1

d) 2

7 a) 3

b) 1

c) 0

d) 2

8 a) 1

b) 0

c) 2

d) 3

9 a) 1

b) 3

c) 2

d) 0

10 a) 3

b) 1

c) 0

d) 2

11 a) 1

b) 2

c) 3

d)0

12 a) 2

b) 1

c) 0

d) 3

13 a) 0

b) 3

c) 2

d) 1

14 a) 1

b) 0

c) 3

d) 2

15 a) 2

b) 1

c) 3

d) 0

16 a) 3

b) 2

c) 1

d) 0

YOU SCORED: 38-48


Could-be-the-real-thing fling

Just because you meet someone abroad doesn’t mean they can’t be the love of your life back home, too – all the basics are there: communication, common interests, chemistry. There’s no reason why you won’t revisit your holiday hot spot this time next year – together.

YOU SCORED: 25-37

Sun-enhanced fling

Taking off the rose-tinted shades back home and realising your sun-kissed Romeo is actually a trainee accountant can be disillusioning. Like your golden tan, summer loving needs lots of care if it’s going to last into autumn. If all else fails, buy him some St Tropez.

YOU SCORED: 12-24

Package-holiday fling

At least you still have a lot to discover about each other! If you make the effort, you might find you have more in common than your taste in holiday destinations. Sangria never tastes the same in a pub back home, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect on a Spanish beach.

YOU SCORED: 0-1 I

Photographs: The Movie Store Collection


Disposable fling

This is a classic holiday romance. If your holiday hunk is a waiter, rep or DJ, he won’t try to follow you home. A dizzy fling is as much part of your summer experience as getting a tan and buying postcards you never send. Just don’t kid yourself that it’s anything else. B

Could-be-the-real-thing fling

Just because you meet someone abroad doesn’t mean they can’t be the love of your life back home, too – all the basics are there: communication, common interests, chemistry. There’s no reason why you won’t revisit your holiday hot spot this time next year – together.

YOU SCORED: 25-37

Sun-enhanced fling

Taking off the rose-tinted shades back home and realising your sun-kissed Romeo is actually a trainee accountant can be disillusioning. Like your golden tan, summer loving needs lots of care if it’s going to last into autumn. If all else fails, buy him some St Tropez.

YOU SCORED: 12-24

Package-holiday fling

At least you still have a lot to discover about each other! If you make the effort, you might find you have more in common than your taste in holiday destinations. Sangria never tastes the same in a pub back home, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect on a Spanish beach.

YOU SCORED: 0-1

Disposable fling

This is a classic holiday romance. If your holiday hunk is a waiter, rep or DJ, he won’t try to follow you home. A dizzy fling is as much part of your summer experience as getting a tan and buying postcards you never send. Just don’t kid yourself that it’s anything else.

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