Yoga poses can be like a drug. Even if you vow to stop, you become anxious during the transition. Without a therapist, you feel lost. Even if you’re aware that yoga poses isn’t helping you achieve the life goals you have established for yourself, you’ve been in that transition and don’’ like it. Therefore, you end up finding yet another therapist who provides you with talk yoga poses rather than helping you achieve the career, spiritual, physical, or other goals you’ve prioritized. I’ve seen people cling to their roles as passive patients, even when they sense they need more than what their yoga poses is giving them.
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Charlie, for example, had been going to the same social worker, Jean, for six years. Charlie had great respect for Jean, and she had helped him overcome some of his anxieties that had caused problems in his career and his relationships. Yet he had made only a few improvements and remained dissatisfied with these areas of his life as well as others. For a long time, Charlie had suspected that he was on the wrong career path he was an accountant and good at it, but he longed to be in a more people-oriented field. Charlie also was overweight, and though his therapist had encouraged him to exercise, she provided few suggestions in this regard. For three more years, he kept going to Jean because of his dependence, fondness for her, and passive mind-set. He didn’t realize that he had to take back the power he had given to Jean and make his own decisions about what was right for him. He needed to begin developing the necessary skills to address his key unmet goals of career dissatisfaction, relationship success, and body wellness if things were going to change for the better.
Despite this knowledge, Charlie was stuck. He had heard about Yogis and how they helped their clients, and Charlie suspected that a coach might be exactly what he needed. But the pull of being a passive patient under the care of a familiar therapist was powerful, so he continued with his sessions with Jean despite the lack of progress toward his goals.
Don’t be like Charlie. Force yourself to assess whether you’re stuck in a passive patient mode. To conduct this assessment, answer the following:
Do you acknowledge to yourself that you would be better off with a coach but find yourself unable to leave your therapist?
Have you fired one therapist only to run through a series of other ones but haven’t made significant life progress with any of them?
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