The Cutest Celebrity Cat Lovers on Instagram

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Once I got the basics and knew how to marry, divorce and murder a man in French, I decided to enrol at the Alliance Francaise. I was happily ensconced in the middle of Course Two when I was surprised to discover that I was pregnant. ‘C’estpas vraiV Mourad was thrilled. He had told me the first time we met that we would make beautiful babies, which was one of the major reasons I liked him in the first place.
My first visit to the obstetrician proved to be interesting. His English was worse than my French and after he had performed the ultrasound he said: ‘The baby is good.’ Then there was a pause and he continued staring at the screen. ‘And the second baby is good.’ I took it to mean, because of our jumbled Franglais, that the baby, the one baby, was really, really good. ‘No,’ he said haltingly. ‘There are two babies.’ I was having twins. Of course I was.
The first three months were a little tricky because although I felt fine I had the most heightened sense of smell, so using the Metro was impossible. The odours of Paris were too much. I could
smell chewing gum stuck on the pavement one block away. With my supersensitive nose, I was like the character Grenouille in Patrick Susskind’s novel Perfume. I would walk kilometres out of my way to avoid a cheese shop.

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