Why you fell in love?

Cne evening, in a hurry to put dinner on the table, I ordered my husband, “Do something with those potatoes!” He started to juggle them. Not exactly what I had in mind, but effective at getting me to laugh and let go of my bad day.

My husband’s screwball spontaneity and wit are what make him eternally interesting. These same qualities also contribute to his talent for losing phone numbers within minutes of jotting them down and his penchant for leaving the ice cream container open on the kitchen table. If 1 nag him about these things, however, I chip away at the very traits that attracted me to him in the first place. I may get what I want an orderly husband but I also get what I don’t want: a partner who is ordinary and predictable, and very unhappy.

Seek the essence of your partner’s character beneath all his other shenanigans. It’ll help you shrug off the small stuff. From the recent book From This Day Forward: Meditations on the f irst Years of Marriage, by Toni Sciarra Poynter (HarperSanFrancisco).

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